sex, sleep... and reality!

So Im sitting here in the darkness typing soley with my left index finger at 3:30am. My baby on one boob suckling happily away into dream land, while i lay uncomfortably propped up by numerous pillows behind my neck, my back, (lick my p.... and my .....) hahaha oh how the tired mind wanders... i meant to say and under my arms of course! I look over to my husband sleeping peacefully (lucky bastard), oblivious to the fact that there is a huge mosquito bite on my toe which is causing me some serious anxiety! If I could just reach down and scratch the damn thing, but one wrong move and my sleeping angel turns into hell babys revenge waking even the dead with his battle cry, leaving the neighbours tormented, and mummy (thats me) almost in tears at the prospect of having to start the "feed baby and put him back to sleep" process all over again! I suppose Ill have to grin and bear it as they say!

The only thing I would like to be doing right now is drift off to the land of nod, where i can dream of friday nights past spent blissfully in a druken stupor aboard a yacht, dancing unsteadily to reggaeton, and pressing the ignore button on my cell to avoid endless irritating calls from my not so suave ex sugar daddy turned stalker!

But then again for me dream land is not so easily reached...

Sleeping with my husband is like trying to weather an earthquake of 8.9 on the ricter scale! I mean come on do we really have to go for the california king size bed??? As if having to wake up through out the night to feed our little cricket isnt hard enough, I am rudely awakened several times on a nightly basis by the earth shifting beneath me and a cold gush of air from the AC up my cotton boxers, as my husband rips the covers from my tired aching bones. And to top it all off he actually gets upset when hes woken by a game of tug of war to retrieve a mere corner of our duvet! the nerve of that man (whom i will love till death do us part)!!!

Its never like this in the movies where the angelic baby sleeps soundly in his bassinet for 12 hours, while his proud and ridiculously good looking parents falls asleep in each others arms after passionately making love with out smudging their make up or making those embarassing faces which in real life we learn to hold so dear, and then magically they wake up still in each others arms looking perfect and rested with baby gurggling beside them... as if!

I guess the parts 5 mins before the love making where dads whining about being tired and not getting enough sex and moms covered in vomit yet again while baby screams cause hes too tired to sleep and doesnt know what to do about it only make it to the cutting room floor !!!

Dont get me wrong not every nights like this but oh the envy to have a team of make up artists, wardrobe consultants, and a director ready on standby to make for a perfect night!!!

HOWDY!

I dont really know what ill be writing here though I do know that Im praying this blog will be my salvation from boredom. Yes folks I said it Cancun (the REAL world Cancun not MTVs latest version) is BORING! It is not always about wet t-shirt contests, open bar, and bikini clad co-eds baking their perfect cottage cheeseless behinds on the sandy caribbean beach.

There is a real city here, rampant with wild dogs, strip clubs and bowling alleys and real people like me (a real housewife) who has dreams of finding fresh basil in the supermarket one day, and flat paved sidewalks that wont leave you sobbing the latest rendition of an old nursery rhyme, down will come baby, bugaboo and all!

I figure ive got nothing to lose except my sanity so here goes and happy reading!

oh for a nap!

The sun is trying so hard to peek out from its hiding spot amidst the dark grey clouds, yet somehow it just isnt quite strong enough. Though im really not one to complain about cloudy days in paradise as i do quite prefer them to days where the sun pulsates through my skull like a bad hangover, and the sweat beads across my upper lip while compiling in small pools in my bra beneath my sweaty bosom.

I am feeling sleep deprivation creeping upon me as my beautiful little monster felt it was in his best interest to wake up every hour last night for his ritual feeding. I suppose hes growing, at least thats what i tell myself to ward off the horrid thought that my son is no more than a selfish, breast hording, glutton! Is it horrible for me to think this? I mean after all hes only an innocent little baby whom I brought into this world; but my girlfriend reassured me that we all have these thoughts at which point I breath a sigh of relief not feeling like such a crappy mummy!

What I would give for a nap, such a Divine little palabra ( or word as we say in English )! A little siesta under a tall palm tree while swinging in a handwoven hammock somewhere on a white pristine beach with a cool breeze tickling the back of my neck would be ideal but hell, ill take one in my bed on white cotton sheets under the AC if need be!!!!

Unfortunately sleep isnt on the menu for this morning (well at least not on my menu... right my darling baby?!)

The catch of the day is laundry, piled high on top of a long list of groceries, with a tasty side dish of cleaning all the spots my muchacha (cleaning lady ) blindly missed in her haste to get to her next higher paying job!!! And for dessert, the piece de resistance a long promised massage for my husband who works so hard to maintain our lavish middle class lifestyle!!! Gosh I love that man, and I do say that in all sincerity, so I suppose a little icing on his cake once in a while really isnt too much to ask.

some thoughts on days past and present

My little jax is an eater. He is thrilled when mommys swollen, cement like breast is thrust in his face where he can happily chomp away with his little gums for what to me seems like hours at a time when in fact its only mere minutes! This is how most of my days are spent, eyes downward looking at my little one gazing up at all the wonders of the world, me smiling at his little button nose reminicing about the last time I was at carlos and charlies throwing back slippery nipple shots and it was I who did the vomiting!

Hah!! Isnt that irony for you, its amazing how things change from one minute to the next from one day/month/year to another. I wouldnt trade my life now for anything though I must admit I do miss the days where most of my time was spent shopping for what sexy dress I was to wear that night to Bull dog or Señor frogs or wherever. Now my shopping consists of groceries and whatever will fit over my new baby fat and can be easily saved from vomit stains!

I suppose its all a part of growing older and wiser as they say and granted hangovers do get old,as do we all!